Supermarket

November 26, 2009 at 12:44 pm | Posted in Threats | 15 Comments
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Nobody can bring order to such chaos.

There is a circle of hell reserved for the most evil Asperger sufferers.

Those who rape nuns, abuse animals and devour human flesh.

It is called supermarket shopping.

Woebetide those who enter this arena.

Few make it out alive.

:(

Brought to you by The Feisty Empire.

Sparrow

August 15, 2009 at 2:37 pm | Posted in Animals, Benefits, Sight | Leave a comment
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Pic by Syymza.

-

As you struggle through the grocery shopping,

careening from aisle to illogically ordered aisle,

the sight of a sparrow,

soaring to the rafters from a split muesli box,

can give you three to five good minutes -

before the air runs out

and the walls rush in.

-

Brought to you by The Feisty Empire.

Train

June 30, 2009 at 11:49 am | Posted in Compulsions, People, Sight, Society, Threats | Leave a comment
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Shopping trolley fails to cross railway line

This needn’t be your fate.

Public transport is a nightmare. Taken off peak, however, trains can give you enough personal space to make short journeys without panicking.

The best carriage on a train is the last one. A study of media images shows that front carriages generally fare worse in head-on and in-tunnel crashes. At level crossings, however, all carriages are vunerable to overshooting road vehicles.

The best seat in a carriage is in a rear corner, by a window, with nobody facing you. Whether you go left or right will depend on your need to fend off attackers with your dominant arm.

If you journey one way on one side of a carriage, you’ll return on the same side (to complete the scenic ‘loop’ and thus not miss anything).

Trains which travel under cities offer a rare opportunity to observe other people. The multifaceted mirroring effect created by dark tunnels and bright internal lights means you can watch second or even third-hand images with no chance of subjects detecting or returning your gaze.

The traumas of tickets, timetables and transit police will be covered elswehere.

For a truly uplifting account of an aspie child conquering an arduous solo train journey, read Mark Haddon’s The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time.

Banknote

June 29, 2009 at 9:20 am | Posted in Compulsions, Society | Leave a comment
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Eyes RIGHT!

If you keep your money in a wallet, you’ll want the banknotes to stay organised.

This may be as simple as putting them in order of denomination.

If the notes have a person’s face on one side, you’ll need to flip them so all faces look out at you.

If they have faces on both sides, you’ll need to make a choice. The ideal is to have a tiered row of faces on the right side of the wallet’s inside.

That way, as soon as you open the wallet, you’ll see the entire team gathered in one spot, expectant and keen to do your bidding.

If some notes have faces and others don’t, this may actually release you from the hassle of secondary and tertiary sorting.

Unless, of course, the notes are different colours.

It’s neither safe nor cool to tip all your money onto a shop counter so you can orient and order each note. Especially if there’s a queue behind you.

If it all gets too hard, try shopping electronically with a debit card.

:)

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