July 8, 2009 at 3:41 pm | Posted in Body, Mind, People, School, Society, Threats, Treatment, Work | 1 Comment
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Avoid the circles of hell.

Violence is a hideous anathema, especially to highly sensitive people.

Unfortunately, violence is the ONLY language bullies understand. If you don’t use it up front, you’re doomed.

Consider the fate of new prison inmates who are tested and found weak. School and work are not so different.

The good news is that, at your first show of force, the great majority of bullies desist. Some may even offer friendship and respect.

The bad news is that parents often recommend a host of ineffectual alternatives to violence:

  1. Ignore them and they’ll go away.
  2. Impress them with your superior intelligence.
  3. Laugh along when they laugh at you.
  4. Stay out of their way.
  5. Tell the teacher/counsellor/principal/bus driver.

Each of these strategies merely intensifies and prolongs bullying. By the time you work through them all, you’ll have made yourself a terminal target.

The only way to tackle nemeses is to fight them. This takes courage, but it’s over in minutes (or even seconds).

You needn’t learn karate or tae kwon do, though that’ll naturally improve your chances of victory. The thing is, you don’t need to win. You just need to have a go.

You may cop a sore ear, lip,  nose or eye. This pain will quickly fade. Avoiding physical conflict, on the other hand, condemns you to a life of mental anguish.

Bullies like soft targets. The moment you refuse to be one, they’ll hunt elsewhere.

If I could change one element of my life, I’d go back and punch all my bullies in the face and dare them to do their worst.



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  1. A fabulous comment just in via Twitter from @KatriK in Finland:

    ‘It always makes me sad, that we live in the world where you must use violence to survive. Schools with bullying culture tell a story about weak adults who leave children without help and support.

    ‘You have survived with the best ways you knew and it’s not your fault, that bullying continued. My experience is, that those kids who learn to be violent, have more problems as teens & adults.

    ‘Not using violence doesn’t mean, that you were passive/didn’t do anything. For example trying to be invisible is active surviving tactics. As the end, what you are now, shows how strong you are and you should be very proud of yourself :-)’

    Thank you for your VERY generous response! 🙂

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