July 22, 2009 at 9:46 am | Posted in Compulsions, People, Society, Treatment | 8 Comments
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Word up. If you dare.

When a person has conversed with you at length (say at a dinner party) they’ll either:

  1. Take offence.
  2. Flee the room in tears.
  3. Tell others it was the best conversation they’ve ever had.

This is because you:

  1. Have trouble lying.
  2. Don’t bother with small talk.
  3. Take a genuine interest in what the person is saying.
  4. Ask insightful, meaningful and penetrating questions.

Social events, therefore, are something of a minefield, depending on the disposition of the people you speak with.

It’s much easier to avoid socialising altogether, though this will eventually leave you feeling like an isolated failure.

A good counsellor can teach you to converse like a ‘normal’ person.

The goal is to express moderate interest in safe topics like cars, sport, weather, celebrities, home loans and infants.

Dead boring, but that’s what ‘normal’ people deal with every day.

Pity them.


If you found this content useful or entertaining, you may wish to:

Even a buck or three will keep me in the hunt. With many thanks, Paul.



RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

  1. Witty writing–second one I have read. I will go read some more.

  2. Thank you, Tahirih; that’s really great to hear. Your site looks very interesting too! Best regards, AS. 🙂

  3. How True !!

    I am formally diagnosed with aspergers syndrome to, as well as dyspraxia, clinical depression, born deaf, speech defects, ADHD, post traumatic stress disorder, high stress and anxiety etc.

    Going through hell in evil twilight zone village of Aylesham near Canterbury Kent but I actually live in Doncaster.

    • Wow, Allen; that’s some kind of hand Fate has dealt you. How do you cope with it all? You certainly seem articulate. Do you perhaps find relief in writing? With best regards and many thanks for joining us. P.

      • Regrettably. determination, hatred and a strong desire to be vindicated helps. I’m trying to leave a paper trial so that those hurting my 75yo Mum and I might get caught in the end, even if the worst comes to the worst.
        I’m fighting the system here to as I am the first disabled person to sue England’s Solicitors Regulation Authority under the Equality Act 2010 via corrupt Sheffield County Court “unassisted” using a text relay system that deaf people use but with software called talkbytext which records and prints verbatim telephone calls…. so I was able to prove unlawful acts, however the same system caught the majority of England’s public authorities and charities breaking the law, including shocking the majority of Autistic related charities.
        I am almost articulate in the way I write as opposed to how I communicate verbally though. However it’s excruciatingly frustrating to be akin to a genius one day and a vegetable the next.
        It’s really bad for disabled in England at the moment, more out of control than people realise. I did have a job I loved at Doncaster Nissan, was one of the best, highest score in exam, made Doncaster Nissan No1 out of then 243 dealerships under CSI (customer service index) scores, only one to past being mystery shopped (secret customer video), had the most thank you cards from customers till colleagues burnt them as a joke! Eventually sacked when I was formally diagnosed with aspergers and dyspraxia in 2010 crazy times since.

      • By gum, you’ve a tough row to hoe! It sounds like a perfectly dreadful storm. The burning of your cards took me right back to some painful times in my past. Kids and colleagues can be so brutally cruel. Though it’s patent you’re pushing shit up hill, I wish you every success in your quest and hope to receive more of your finely-wrought reports. So thank you, Allen, for favouring us with such a detailed and personal share. P.

  4. enjoyed your commentary. Nice perspective on socialites and their heavy burden of keeping everybody happy all the time – no time for fun things like understanding history, exploring your geneology or understanding recent developments in neuroscience. Let alone the fascinating insight that people lived without zero for years, that Einstein focussed on seperability rather then on probability in his attack on quantum mechanics or that Malay has two words for we: one with and one without the listener. Or we and wou/we+you. And I’m not worried about you liking all of these topics, because yours are likely as divers, useless and fascinating :). Socialites can only talk about things both people in the conversation like. And they both need to know that the other person likes it too. So that the conversation strengthens rather then weakens their relationship. Its networking based on imitation rather then innovation. :).

    Ok that should make us feel good for once. Or am I now contradicting myself 🙂

    Thanks for the blog.

    • What a generous share, Peter! Such comments add a depth to this blog I couldn’t hope to achieve alone. Thank YOU for your fascinating thoughts. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Entries and comments feeds.

%d bloggers like this: