SeatDecember 7, 2012 at 3:00 pm | Posted in 1, Compulsions, Humour, Mind, People, Sight, Society, Threats | 10 Comments
Tags: appointment, chair, choice, seat, waiting, waiting room
Few would comprehend (or believe) the lightning thinking that precedes your choice of chair.
You enter a waiting room (itself a feat).
First priority is safety.
Check the corners. Does one offer a view of the entrance through which your appointment will appear?
Corners mean you need monitor only 90 degrees for danger.
Walls, therefore, run a very poor second.
The centre, naturally, is right out.
But position isn’t everything.
Check the seating. Is it solo?
If it’s a two-seater couch, you may be able to thwart later arrivals with your bag and coat. (This also applies to pairs of chairs.)
If it’s a three-seater (or more) you may have unwelcome company.
What sort of couch is it?
If it’s too soft, slippery and/or deep, you may have trouble rising quickly to meet any threat.
Better a firm, high one with good back support.
But even the ideal chair in the perfect corner can come unstuck.
Is it near a radio speaker (perhaps blaring a chaotic commercial station)? The cacophony will erode your (frail) composure.
Is it next to a water cooler, rubbish bin, pamphlet stand, children’s play area or stack of filthy, outdated magazines?
If so, people (at worst, infants) may launch themselves at you from all quarters without warning.
Waiting rooms are so hideous, it’s best to be the first appointment of the day.
Though this carries its own peril if your appointment still contrives to be late.
The silver line to this stormy cloud concerns your partner.
If, after some time together, your covivant can scan a space with 80 chairs and point to the exact one you’d pick,
you’ll know it’s true love.
Marry them without delay.
Brought to you by The Feisty Empire.