Finger bun

September 4, 2017 at 9:05 am | Posted in 1, Compulsions, Humour, Sight | 2 Comments
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Cl06fNWVAAAKvYE.jpg large

 

The proprietress has made a stout effort,

 

but several items appear recalcitrant.

 

Pic by Warren Kirk.

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Seat

December 7, 2012 at 3:00 pm | Posted in 1, Compulsions, Humour, Mind, People, Sight, Society, Threats | 10 Comments
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Chairs Small

NOT as easy as it seems.

Few would comprehend (or believe) the lightning thinking that precedes your choice of chair.

You enter a waiting room (itself a feat).

First priority is safety.

Check the corners. Does one offer a view of the entrance through which your appointment will appear?

If so, can you also see outside (to avoid eye contact, pass the time and spot long-range threats)?

Corners mean you need monitor only 90 degrees for danger.

Walls, therefore, run a very poor second.

The centre, naturally, is right out.

But position isn’t everything.

Check the seating. Is it solo?

If it’s a two-seater couch, you may be able to thwart later arrivals with your bag and coat. (This also applies to pairs of chairs.)

If it’s a three-seater (or more) you may have unwelcome company.

What sort of couch is it?

If it’s too soft, slippery and/or deep, you may have trouble rising quickly to meet any threat.

Better a firm, high one with good back support.

But even the ideal chair in the perfect corner can come unstuck.

Is it near a radio speaker (perhaps blaring a chaotic commercial station)? The cacophony will erode your (frail) composure.

Is it next to a water cooler, rubbish bin, pamphlet stand, children’s play area or stack of filthy, outdated magazines?

If so, people (at worst, infants) may launch themselves at you from all quarters without warning.

Waiting rooms are so hideous, it’s best to be the first appointment of the day.

Though this carries its own peril if your appointment still contrives to be late.

The silver line to this stormy cloud concerns your partner.

If, after some time together, your covivant can scan a space with 80 chairs and point to the exact one you’d pick,

you’ll know it’s true love.

Marry them without delay.

🙂

Brought to you by The Feisty Empire.

Coin

October 2, 2012 at 9:17 am | Posted in Compulsions, Senses, Sight, Society, Touch | 2 Comments
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This series starts so well, but then it turns to sh*t.

Depending on your country of residence, your confusion about currency may not be confined to banknotes.

This Australian sequence, for instance, is counterintuitive to say the least.

Fortunately, you’ll likely get your mind around it after a few months.

This is good, as you have little choice in such matters of State.

Confronted with absolutes, it’s better to go with the flow than rail to zero effect.

😐

Brought to you by The Feisty Empire.

Number

April 6, 2012 at 10:02 am | Posted in Benefits, Compulsions, Interests, Recreation, Senses, Sight | 1 Comment
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Count yourself lucky!

If you’re entranced by numbers, you can take your passion beyond the screen and into the wider world.

Hunting numbers gives purpose and excitement to your journeys – turning them into mini safaris.

Carrying a camera gives you something to do – and an ‘excuse’ to be where you are.

It’s fun. It keeps you fit. Kind viewers give you helpful feedback (and thus validation).

And if you’re any good (which will likely be the case) you can sell your photos to stock shot firms.

I’m experimenting with three types of photo number blog here and here.

Which do you prefer?

🙂

Brought to you by The Feisty Empire.

Colouring-in

May 1, 2010 at 1:24 pm | Posted in 1, Compulsions, Family, Interests, Mind, Recreation, Senses, Sight, Touch | 5 Comments
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Points of difference.

You don’t see so many kids’ colouring-in books these days.

If you’re old enough, though, you may recall the pleasure of completing them.

Not all books were the same.

The designs, for instance, varied wildly – from obsessively intricate to insultingly facile.

The best fell somewhere in between.

The papers varied too. From shiny surfaces that barely took a pencil mark to blotter-style offerings that soaked each careful texta stroke far beyond its intended position.

It was rare, therefore, to get a pleasing design on practical paper.

Christmas ‘Bumper Fun Books’, by dint of their sheer size, usually carried two or three satisfying options.

With your attention to detail so keen, you naturally coloured within the lines.

Yet sometimes, engrossed in activity, an unguarded movement saw your marker slip.

This transgression marred the entire work. So much that you had to employ your black texta (the most valuable in the set, and the one most likely to fail first through overuse).

You traced the entire colouring-in design with black, making all the lines slightly wider.

At the slip-up, the line became wider still, as you covered the alien colour with pitch.

The result was not unlike a stained-glass window.

Alas, some errors were too big to mask and had to remain patent.

When you submitted a work thus flawed to your parent, their judgment was revealing.

Instead of praising your industry, your palette or your almost-perfect execution, they did something else.

They started at ten, then subtracted one mark for each crossed line.

Never, in your entire childhood, did you score a perfect ten.

Though you tried and tried and tried.

It was only 40 years later, when writing a blog post to ameliorate the Great Sadness that had befallen you on waking, that you realised something.

Your parent had Asperger’s too.

😐

Brought to you by The Feisty Empire.

Sign

January 10, 2010 at 6:16 pm | Posted in Compulsions, Humour, Interests, Mind, Nature, People, Sight | 5 Comments
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Could you resist such a well-presented data source?

When you stroll in a well-run park, you may take longer than others.

This is because you like to read the signs.

Signs give information. Correctly used, information is a source of power.

With few other power sources at your disposal, you’ll naturally want to maximise the ones you have.

As you devour every word, your companion/s may either wait and fret by your side or walk on without you.

That’s fine. Just thank them for their ‘patience’ and remind them how good you feel when you learn something new.

That usually shuts them up quick smart! 🙂

Didn’t think so!

Dogfood

January 7, 2010 at 7:35 pm | Posted in 1, Animals, Compulsions, Mind, Sight | 2 Comments
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This brand is easy.
Others are much, much harder to calculate.

If you have two dogs of the same breed, you may feel irresistibly compelled to feed them identically.

And I mean identically.

This isn’t so hard with the type of dog food pictured above.

But God help you if your partner buys granular dogfood – and you either have to count the tiny fragments or weigh the bowls.

The dogs don’t give a damn about these taxing mental machinations.

Nor should you.

But sometimes, that’s the way the cookie crumbles.

🙂

Brought to you by The Feisty Empire.

Board

December 14, 2009 at 1:11 pm | Posted in Compulsions, Humour, Mind, Senses, Sight | 2 Comments
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Yes.

NO!

Change

December 14, 2009 at 1:00 pm | Posted in Compulsions, Humour, Mind, Senses, Sight, Touch | Leave a comment
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Yes.

NO!

Politician

December 9, 2009 at 6:23 am | Posted in Compulsions, Mind, People, Society, Threats, Treatment | Leave a comment
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Congratulate honestly, but not too highly.

As an ardent lover of Truth, you’ll be constantly dismayed by the variability, expediency and mendacity of politicians.

Soon you’ll be close to writing them all off as hopeless liars.

On very rare occasions, due to extreme circumstances even they may not understand, a politician may feel driven to tell the whole truth in a clear and emphatic way.

Like a beacon in the night sea, this will attract and impress you greatly.

So much that you may feel compelled to tell the politician how you feel. Even if their party’s views are diametrically opposed to yours.

Today’s technology makes this possible. It’s an easy matter to email the person or leave a comment on their blog (or the online article detailing their ‘lapse’).

It’s fine to show your support; just don’t overdo it.

What goes on the Web stays on the Web, and your thoughts (especially if expressed with your characteristic vehemence and candour) may haunt you in future years.

Further, most ‘normal’ people fear and suspect frank opinions, so you may actually damage your ‘brand’ by tabling yours.

Ironically, while it’s OK for politicians to take the odd trip down Honesty Lane with impunity, society is unlikely to afford you a similar luxury.

Therefore, either self-edit your comments, or pass them through the filter of a trusted friend.

🙂

Brought to you by The Feisty Empire.

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