Imagine

March 25, 2015 at 2:31 pm | Posted in Benefits, Interests, Mind, Recreation, Senses, Sight, Treatment | 4 Comments
Tags: , , , , , , ,
A very, very exciting day!

A very, very exciting day!

Do you wonder what aspie fiction is like?

This collection of 19 short stories may give you an idea.

There's your book; now ... buy it!

There’s your book; now … buy it!

It took 20 years to create.

That should make it 200% better than Catch 22.

You can determine if this is true by buying Imagine Day.

To do so, go here or email paul@thefeistyempire.com to request a personalised message.

This first edition, strictly limited to just 200 copies, will be the only one featuring dedications written with my Magic Red Pen.

Regular readers of this blog will know I don’t flog stuff.

So this book must be rather special.

How frightfully exciting!

🙂

Brought to you by The Feisty Empire.

Advertisements

Autobiography

December 29, 2013 at 7:20 am | Posted in 1, Interests, Treatment | 2 Comments
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,
An introduction to Paul Hassing's autobiography

Take the plunge!

If you’ve enjoyed this blog, you may also like my newest project.

It’s an autobiography, whose style you’ll find familiar.

I warmly welcome your visit and comments.

🙂

Brought to you by The Feisty Empire.

Biplane

April 10, 2013 at 5:32 am | Posted in 1, Benefits, Family, Recreation, Senses, Treatment | 4 Comments
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,
Biplane start

Unforgettable.

A fabulous gift for an aspie is a biplane flight.

Strapped snugly in the cockpit, with the pilot behind, you see the airstrip beckon.

When the engine fires, you feel every rod and tappet clanking away.

Takeoff is breathtakingly swift.

Once you’re aloft, the strut wires zing as the tiny craft surfs every zephyr.

But you don’t feel afraid.

The plane is over 90 years old. Statistically, if it were going to crash, it would’ve done so already.

Though linked to the pilot by headphones, the wind and noise dissuade chit-chat – freeing you to savour the journey alone.

As you gaze down at your past – mapped out in homes, schools, offices and parks – you may feel brief respite from life’s struggle.

And on your reluctant return to earth, you’ll very likely feel blessed that someone cared enough to grant you such a wonderful adventure.

🙂

Brought to you by The Feisty Empire.

Earth

December 6, 2012 at 8:52 am | Posted in Body, Mind, Nature, Recreation, Senses, Touch, Treatment | 6 Comments
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,
Splendour in the Grass Small

Step into your (new) comfort zone!

Chances are you live in your head far more than your body.

While a rich mental life offers entertaining discourse with superior company, you can have too much of a good thing.

At the most practical level, your body is a life-support system for your brain.

Serving the latter to the detriment of the former ultimately compromises both.

So, while hobbies, alcohol, medication and literature may seem preferred paths to contentment, beware false readings from a selfish organ that knows exactly what you’re thinking.

Though all impulses may screech to the contrary, it’s vital to shift your corporeal form.

The trick is to find a (probably solo) exercise you enjoy.

Swimming is ideal, but unsuited to warmer months.

Walking is a good year-round alternative.

If you can find a large grassed oval that’s deserted at inconvenient times, you’re in for a treat.

At first, the prospect of circling with nothing but your protesting mind may daunt.

To ease yourself in, try downloading fascinating documentaries to an iPod or some such.

Acquiring facts is a great way to silence your inner voice.

Once you’re in the swing, take the next step.

Take off your runners and walk barefoot.

At once, the 2D green disc you’ve been traipsing will become a 3D sensory adventure.

Suddenly, you’ll detect every nuance of the turf.

After rain, you’ll feel the little mounds worms made overnight.

When the sprinklers are on, you’ll slosh through puddles and streams.

When it’s dry, you’ll scale tiny sand dunes.

Soon you’ll realise the oval has a camber to aid drainage.

And that a barely perceptible tilt creates a particularly lush spot.

Each time you pass through this, the grass will remind you that, while still an etherial being, you’re definitely of this Earth.

Literally and metaphorically rooting yourself in the real world is an ideal counter to a busy brain.

And the fitness you gain will keep the relationship healthy.

If you’re lucky enough to live by the sea, the benefits of walking barefoot increase a thousandfold.

So close that book, put down that bottle, turn off that screen and

GO!

🙂

Brought to you by The Feisty Empire.

Introvert

November 15, 2012 at 10:37 am | Posted in Benefits, Interests, People | 6 Comments
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Out there.

Being introverted doesn’t mean you can’t act like an extrovert now and then (in fact, it comes with the territory).

If you have a valid message and a means by which to convey it, audiences should warm to you.

And their endorsement may suffice until you can generate your own.

To learn more, watch Susan Cain’s The power of introverts.

🙂

Brought to you by The Feisty Empire.

Bali

November 1, 2012 at 10:43 am | Posted in Mind, People, Recreation, Society, Threats | 9 Comments
Tags: , , , , , ,

Enter at own risk.

There’s a high chance you won’t like Bali.

The reasons are almost too numerous to describe, but here are a few.

When you land at the airport and stare bewildered at the queues, an airport official will spot your distress and approach.

But instead of helping you, he’ll extort money from you to ‘process’ your passport.

When he snatches your documents and vanishes through a door, leaving you to the hostile stares of a thousand angry, sweaty tourists, you’ll know the true meaning of fear.

If you get your passport back, another trial awaits.

When you see the luggage carousel with nothing on it, it’s not because your bag hasn’t been unloaded.

Rather, it has been taken hostage by a local ‘handler’ who also demands payment to give it back.

Then he’ll want to carry it for you. More exhortations for money.

Next, a deafening gauntlet of currency changers will harangue you for custom.

Next, the taxi driver who beats all the others to you will drive you through a sea of humanity moiling on packed, narrow streets with smashed, gaping footpaths.

On arrival, he won’t be able to change your smallest banknote, forcing you to give him a very large one.

When you finally gain the sanctuary of your villa, the close cries of rice farmers fending off birds will make you wonder what the hell you’re doing there.

Everyone told you Bali was wonderful, amazing.

But all you see is the chasm between rich and poor, and the endless devices of the latter to glean from the former.

You’d rather eat alone than have four staff fawn over your every mouthful.

You’d rather savour your accommodation in peace than traipse the steaming island to have temple monkeys claw out your eyes.

But if you stay put, the servile staff pile up at your door – desperate to please and stunned that you don’t enjoy lording it over them, like so many guests before.

They’ll get upset – though they hide it very well.

And the fact even you can detect their displeasure will make you realise how frighteningly deep it goes.

So you’ll get upset too, and feel trapped among foes.

And the positive feedback loop will continue.

Your sole, cold comfort (when the host, the receptionist, the gardener, the pool person, the path sweeper, the snake catcher, the house people, the deity offering preparer – and all their retainers – have finally left your compound) may be to transmute your pain and disappointment into searing, staccato verse:

I hate Bali

I hate Bali.

It is f*cked.

All the mopeds.

All the trucks.

All the bullsh*t.

All the scams.

Grin at me through

Praying hands.

Take my money.

Plus plus plus.

(Plus plus plus plus,

Plus plus plus.)

Yes I am a

First World prick.

I deserve your

Third Class shtick.

Bend me over.

Call me ‘Sir’.

Rough pineapple.

Now do her.

Charge us double.

Give us half.

Disrespect us.

Laugh and laugh.

Show us pictures

Of the sun.

Swipe our visas.

Wipe your bum.

All is fiction.

Nothing real.

Bait and switch and

Steal steal steal.

Send us packing.

With your curse.

Now we see there’s

So much worse.

Dress your gods, but

Strip us bare.

Wish that we were

Never there.

Despite your rage, you’ll know deep down that it’s not Bali’s fault.

This means the problem lies with you.

And the wait for your non-transferrable flight home will be very,

very

long.

😦

Further reading: http://www.theage.com.au/wa-news/goodbye-bali-and-f-you-woman-reports-rohypnol-ordeal-20160711-gq2wpj.html

Save

Drive

October 30, 2012 at 7:04 am | Posted in 1, Benefits, Body, Hearing, Recreation, Senses, Touch | 10 Comments
Tags: , , , , , ,

Learn one; master all!

If someone teaches you to drive, they may be astonished at how swiftly and well you pick it up.

This will likely be due to two factors.

First, you’re probably dying to master an enclosed, personal, movable space that protects you while giving you a means of independence and escape.

Second, and perhaps more encouragingly, your superior sensitivity will alert you to the training vehicle’s every nuance.

The moment you slide into the driver’s seat, your senses will start reaching to every part of the machine – like ganglia.

If you crunch the gears, you’ll shudder in sympathy and note the warning signs for next time.

If you hit a curb when turning, you’ll know by sound and feel whether it was the rubber tyre, the plastic hubcap and/or the metal rim of the wheel.

Early pilots called this ‘flying by the seat of your pants’ – because they literally felt many aspects of the aircraft through their seat.

You’ll take this principle even further.

After a while, your perception will extend beyond the car.

Since you’re well used to keeping your distance from people, you’ll have a valuable asset when it comes to reverse parking.

Onlookers will marvel as you knock the training sticks and bricks over once or twice, but never again.

Once you learn to drive one car, you can learn to drive any vehicle (see photographic evidence above).

It’s a bit like The Matrix movie, in which Trinity downloads the software to fly a helicopter.

But it’s better than that, because the software is already in you.

In fact, it is you.

On the road, because you obey rules and are careful, your dealings with police should be minimal.

In summary, learning to drive could be one of the most empowering and enjoyable things you ever do.

🙂

Brought to you by The Feisty Empire.

Little

April 8, 2012 at 9:22 am | Posted in Benefits, Interests, Recreation, Senses, Sight | 5 Comments
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Little things mean a lot!

Though being highly detail oriented can be a total pain in the bum, it also brings advantages.

One benefit is that you spot things others never see.

I bet if you discovered this tiny Number 5, there wouldn’t be another soul within 20 km who knew about it.

Perhaps only the person who designed the nut and maybe – just maybe – the person who installed it.

It’s a little thing, for sure.

But if you start small, your universe expands out of sight.

🙂

Brought to you by The Feisty Empire.

Number

April 6, 2012 at 10:02 am | Posted in Benefits, Compulsions, Interests, Recreation, Senses, Sight | 1 Comment
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Count yourself lucky!

If you’re entranced by numbers, you can take your passion beyond the screen and into the wider world.

Hunting numbers gives purpose and excitement to your journeys – turning them into mini safaris.

Carrying a camera gives you something to do – and an ‘excuse’ to be where you are.

It’s fun. It keeps you fit. Kind viewers give you helpful feedback (and thus validation).

And if you’re any good (which will likely be the case) you can sell your photos to stock shot firms.

I’m experimenting with three types of photo number blog here and here.

Which do you prefer?

🙂

Brought to you by The Feisty Empire.

Colouring-in

May 1, 2010 at 1:24 pm | Posted in 1, Compulsions, Family, Interests, Mind, Recreation, Senses, Sight, Touch | 5 Comments
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Points of difference.

You don’t see so many kids’ colouring-in books these days.

If you’re old enough, though, you may recall the pleasure of completing them.

Not all books were the same.

The designs, for instance, varied wildly – from obsessively intricate to insultingly facile.

The best fell somewhere in between.

The papers varied too. From shiny surfaces that barely took a pencil mark to blotter-style offerings that soaked each careful texta stroke far beyond its intended position.

It was rare, therefore, to get a pleasing design on practical paper.

Christmas ‘Bumper Fun Books’, by dint of their sheer size, usually carried two or three satisfying options.

With your attention to detail so keen, you naturally coloured within the lines.

Yet sometimes, engrossed in activity, an unguarded movement saw your marker slip.

This transgression marred the entire work. So much that you had to employ your black texta (the most valuable in the set, and the one most likely to fail first through overuse).

You traced the entire colouring-in design with black, making all the lines slightly wider.

At the slip-up, the line became wider still, as you covered the alien colour with pitch.

The result was not unlike a stained-glass window.

Alas, some errors were too big to mask and had to remain patent.

When you submitted a work thus flawed to your parent, their judgment was revealing.

Instead of praising your industry, your palette or your almost-perfect execution, they did something else.

They started at ten, then subtracted one mark for each crossed line.

Never, in your entire childhood, did you score a perfect ten.

Though you tried and tried and tried.

It was only 40 years later, when writing a blog post to ameliorate the Great Sadness that had befallen you on waking, that you realised something.

Your parent had Asperger’s too.

😐

Brought to you by The Feisty Empire.

Next Page »


Entries and comments feeds.