Gym

May 24, 2015 at 8:23 am | Posted in Body, School, Touch, Treatment | 4 Comments
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Much more fun than it looks.

Poor coordination, low self esteem, lack of team spirit and/or a preference for academic pursuits may make school gymnasium time dispiriting and uncomfortable.

There may be one activity, however, that you do enjoy.

If the gym has large, thick, heavy exercise (tumble) mats, your class may play the unofficial (and sometimes banned) game of ‘stacks on the mill‘ – or whatever it’s called in your world.

Basically, a few students lie on the first mat, while the other mats are piled on top.

The students outside the pile then jump on top of it and bounce up and down – theoretically trying to crush their colleagues to death, but in the knowledge that the ‘give’ in the first mat makes this (unfortunately) impossible.

You may find you much prefer to be a ‘crushee’, rather than a crusher.

In fact, you may well be able to withstand more weight, and for longer, than any other child.

This may result in you ending up alone beneath all but one of the mats, and all but one of your class.

To enhance your splendid isolation, you may even wriggle to the centre of the pile while chaos reigns above.

There you can relax in warm, dark, comfortable solitude.

Until the gym teacher comes along to ruin the only good thing about your physical education class.

Decades later, you may learn that Temple Grandin recognised the value of non-human ‘hugs’ and actually created a ‘hug machine‘ (or hug box) to this effect.

While you may not feel the need to install one of these in your lounge room, it will be satisfying to realise why you loved to be last on the first mat all those years ago.

Brought to you by The Feisty Empire.

 

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Lawrence

December 2, 2009 at 1:15 pm | Posted in 1, Compulsions, Humour, Interests, Mind, Recreation, School, Sight | 2 Comments
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Lawrence. About to lose it.
God knows I would too!

Lawrence of Arabia is another Aspie hero.

He certainly knew his stuff among the Arabs in World War I.

And if you read his biography, you’ll find he was a troubled chap indeed.

Despite his profound otherness, he achieved great things in archaeology, language, warfare and literature.

Though the movie is doubtless romanticised, it has more than enough grit to satisfy the fact-hungry viewer.

Lawrence’s ultra-violent response to his abuse by the Turks is an oft-cited character flaw.

Yet who among us, bullied at school to the edge of madness, would not take revenge on our tormentors if given the chance to do so with impunity?

As with Murphy’s War, I’d love to hear your views on this film.

Perhaps we can generate a Top Ten Aspie Film list.

The festival wouldn’t be much chop …

but our friends and family would certainly have an easy job at xmas!

🙂

Brought to you by The Feisty Empire.

School

October 23, 2009 at 1:07 pm | Posted in Mind, School, Society, Threats | Leave a comment
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A snapshot of life in junior high school.

At school, the torments of ‘otherness’ reach an exquisite crescendo.

Some days, you may run home and beg never to be sent back.

But you must return, as that’s the way of the world.

See the post on Bully for some survival tips.

Bully

July 8, 2009 at 3:41 pm | Posted in Body, Mind, People, School, Society, Threats, Treatment, Work | 1 Comment
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Avoid the circles of hell.

Violence is a hideous anathema, especially to highly sensitive people.

Unfortunately, violence is the ONLY language bullies understand. If you don’t use it up front, you’re doomed.

Consider the fate of new prison inmates who are tested and found weak. School and work are not so different.

The good news is that, at your first show of force, the great majority of bullies desist. Some may even offer friendship and respect.

The bad news is that parents often recommend a host of ineffectual alternatives to violence:

  1. Ignore them and they’ll go away.
  2. Impress them with your superior intelligence.
  3. Laugh along when they laugh at you.
  4. Stay out of their way.
  5. Tell the teacher/counsellor/principal/bus driver.

Each of these strategies merely intensifies and prolongs bullying. By the time you work through them all, you’ll have made yourself a terminal target.

The only way to tackle nemeses is to fight them. This takes courage, but it’s over in minutes (or even seconds).

You needn’t learn karate or tae kwon do, though that’ll naturally improve your chances of victory. The thing is, you don’t need to win. You just need to have a go.

You may cop a sore ear, lip,  nose or eye. This pain will quickly fade. Avoiding physical conflict, on the other hand, condemns you to a life of mental anguish.

Bullies like soft targets. The moment you refuse to be one, they’ll hunt elsewhere.

If I could change one element of my life, I’d go back and punch all my bullies in the face and dare them to do their worst.

😐

Art

June 17, 2009 at 7:06 pm | Posted in Benefits, Interests, Mind, School, Sight | Leave a comment
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Painting in 1973

Painting in 1973

When doing art at primary school with scissors, glue and coloured fabric scraps, you’ll probably create something extraordinary.

Not only will your subject be atypical for your age (e.g. an erupting volcano) you’ll also use the materials metaphorically (e.g. bold black strips to indicate flying lava trajectory).

The result will be so unusual that your teacher may discuss it with your parents.

Don’t get your hopes up.

Though your piece will stand out clearly from the families, pets and vehicles depicted by your classmates, it’ll fail to garner a red-and-yellow SOLD sticker in the art gallery at the school fete.

Instead, it’ll be taken down, folded double and returned to you as a memento of your ‘otherness’.

Whether you can parlay this trait into a viable artistic career is entirely up to you.

A Volcano. Circa 1970.

A Volcano. Circa 1970.

Brought to you by The Feisty Empire.

Welcome

June 16, 2009 at 9:57 pm | Posted in Animals, Benefits, Body, Compulsions, Hearing, Humour, Interests, Mind, Nature, People, Recreation, School, Senses, Sight, Smell, Society, Taste, Threats, Touch, Treatment, Work | Leave a comment
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This blog is a device for collating personal experiences (mine and possibly yours) of Asperger syndrome. I plan to collect first and sort later, so brace yourself for randomness.

Though my symptoms cause me significant distress, I appreciate that yours (or those of the one/s you care for) may be much worse.

It’s therefore with humility and respect that I invite the views of those further along the spectrum. Any humour you detect in my posts is merely the other side of my particular coin.

I warmly welcome your input, which I may include in a book. While I claim the right to use anything you post, I won’t reveal your identity unless you want me to.

Should your contribution be significant, I’ll invite you to the book launch or send you a free, signed copy when it’s published.

This project was suggested by my psychologist. I wish to remain anonymous, at least until I find my feet and set down all the things that have affected me most.

While some of the impressions noted herein may be due to child abuse  or depression, we may yet discover that Asperger syndrome is the nucleus of my woes.

If you’re a publisher, I’d love to hear from you.

Thanks for visiting; come back soon!


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