November 7, 2012 at 9:11 am | Posted in Humour, People, Society, Threats, Touch, Work | 6 Comments
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Table for one?

Like many aspies, you may prefer to eat alone.

The mere presence of others may dilute (pollute?!) your pleasure in food.

And the onus of communication can turn a meal from treat to chore.

It’s fine to dine solo, but try not to overdo it.

If, for instance, you’re found lunching alone on the concrete fire escape stairs of a busy advertising agency, your reputation for socialising may suffer.

If you’re in business, try to avoid lunch meetings.

Chances are you’ll be so overwrought juggling conflicting tasks that your client or prospect may form a poor impression.

If they insist on meeting for lunch, avoid ‘difficult’ dishes.

Especially beef teriyaki don with long, crisp, slippery vegetables, sticky rice and loads of sauce.

The effort to control your chopsticks and sever mouthfuls while calculating optimal eye contact and tracking the conversation may well result in food on your hands, face, clothes, napkin and table section.

Not a good look.

Especially if you cut yourself shaving.

‘Finger’ foods (e.g. wraps, sandwiches and spring rolls [without sauce]) are a far safer bet.

You could even call these

a recipe for success.



December 14, 2009 at 6:28 am | Posted in Benefits, Interests, Mind, People, Senses, Sight, Society, Work | Leave a comment
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Drama doesn’t have to be large scale.

While most ‘normal’ people flock to gawp at car crashes, your sense of drama may be on the smaller side.

Waiting for the lights to change, you may see a saga carved into a traffic light pole.

This pole has been used countless times by people promoting bands and garage sales, touting work-from-home opportunities, seeking lost pets and offering weight loss schemes.

Each time, they’ve attached flyers with sturdy tape, usually circling the pole several times.

Each time, council workers have come and removed these illegal communiques.

As each piece of tape is ripped off, it usually takes some paint with it.

Sometimes, there’s so much tape or so many flyers that the workers have to use sharp spatulas.

These leave their own distinct marks in the paint.

The apparent ferocity of their marks suggests the workers are:

  1. In  a hurry (perhaps because they’re outsourced contractors).
  2. Heartily sick of this kind of work (and perhaps their entire jobs).
  3. Uncaring of the poles they’re cleaning (the bane of all public property).

So you see, much can be deduced and inferred from a humble scenario like this.

Though fraught with difficulties, the world of the Asperger sufferer is also rich with sensations.

In my opinion, this is getting very close to art.


Brought to you by The Feisty Empire.


December 9, 2009 at 8:27 am | Posted in Benefits, Interests, Mind, Nature, People, Senses, Sight, Work | 4 Comments
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Love on the rocks…

Sunlight is an incredible thing.

It transforms the ordinary into the spectacular.

Next time you’re driving east through early morning traffic, observe the grey pedestrians scurrying to work.

If you’re lucky, the rising sun will shine straight through their ears, revealing their blood (and their humanity).

While you’re at it, keep an eye out for that composite pebble cladding used on office buildings in the late 1960s.

When the morning sun hits this material at a very acute angle, you can see every pebble picked out in high relief.

It’s almost like you’re looking at a river bed from which the water has suddenly receded.

See what you think of these photos.

These shots were taken in normal light. Just to give you an idea.

There sure is a lot going on here.

So much drama, in a simple bit of office building cladding. I feel sorry for the pebbles, mired in the cement.

Now the river bed suggests itself. Do you see?

How about now?

The light may also let you discern the rectangular concrete base slabs in which the pebbles are embedded.

Under normal conditions, these meld into one unbroken surface.

It’s likely that very few people will notice such a ‘spectacle‘, let alone appreciate it.

This matters not.

What matters is that you:

  • Can see it.
  • Do see it.
  • Get a kick out of it.
  • Wish to tell others about it.

That’s good enough.

PS. There’s a fascinating documentary about how an (Italian?) immigrant brought pebble cladding to Australia. I think it’s part of the Tales from a Suitcase series, but it could also be an architectural program. Let us know if you find it.


Brought to you by The Feisty Empire.


November 25, 2009 at 4:53 pm | Posted in Compulsions, People, Sight, Touch, Treatment, Work | 2 Comments
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The quest for order is a double-edged sword.

Faced with a series of similar tasks, you may feel compelled to put away all your tools after each one.

Such behaviour is patently obvious on an office desk.

You’ll signify the completion of each job by sweeping every pen, pencil, paper clip, calculator, ruler etc into your draw.

After tasting the brief satisfaction of seeing your desk completely clear, you’ll then unpack your tools ready for the next job.

You may even place each tool in its own special spot.

Though this toing and froing is arguably a waste of effort, you’ll receive frequent compliments on the order and cleanliness of your work space.

You’ll also know the instant someone ‘borrows’ your ultra-fine mechanical pencil.

Whereupon you’ll immediately start hunting through the entire building until you get it back.

As this may amuse work colleagues, it’s a good idea to keep identical back-ups for each of your ‘core’ tools.

This way, you can finish the job at hand before commencing your search. Though anxiety about the missing item (and speculation as to whether it was stolen, by whom, and why) may prove too distracting.


Brought to you by The Feisty Empire.


July 27, 2009 at 8:50 am | Posted in Compulsions, Humour, Nature, People, Senses, Work | 4 Comments
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Adding these to an aspie’s peg container is downright cruel.

Anyone familiar with your condition will know when you’ve hung towels on a clothes line.

The towels will be spaced laterally and ventrally along and across the lines for optimal air flow.

They’ll factor the sun’s current position and its projected transit during the estimated drying time.

You’ll also consider the potential of wind to dirty the towels by blowing them against objects.

Even given the most motley collection of clothes pegs (differing in material, design, size, age and hue) each towel will sport matching pegs.

You’ll check progress regularly, adjust towels to reflect changed conditions and remove dry towels to benefit those remaining.

Though such meticulous care will seldom be appreciated, you’ll know you did your best.


Brought to you by The Feisty Empire.


July 23, 2009 at 9:16 am | Posted in Benefits, Nature, Senses, Sight, Work | Leave a comment
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Pic borrowed from the wonderful Puddleblog

As commuters rush through a grimy inner suburb on a wet winter’s day, few will see the drab plastic strip curtain of the take-away cafe.

Even fewer will notice the dreary puddle on the road in front of it.

Only one will witness the sole beam of sunshine, spearing through the clouds, to smite the curtain and cast a dozen dancing reflections in the puddle.

That person will be you.



July 8, 2009 at 3:41 pm | Posted in Body, Mind, People, School, Society, Threats, Treatment, Work | 1 Comment
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Avoid the circles of hell.

Violence is a hideous anathema, especially to highly sensitive people.

Unfortunately, violence is the ONLY language bullies understand. If you don’t use it up front, you’re doomed.

Consider the fate of new prison inmates who are tested and found weak. School and work are not so different.

The good news is that, at your first show of force, the great majority of bullies desist. Some may even offer friendship and respect.

The bad news is that parents often recommend a host of ineffectual alternatives to violence:

  1. Ignore them and they’ll go away.
  2. Impress them with your superior intelligence.
  3. Laugh along when they laugh at you.
  4. Stay out of their way.
  5. Tell the teacher/counsellor/principal/bus driver.

Each of these strategies merely intensifies and prolongs bullying. By the time you work through them all, you’ll have made yourself a terminal target.

The only way to tackle nemeses is to fight them. This takes courage, but it’s over in minutes (or even seconds).

You needn’t learn karate or tae kwon do, though that’ll naturally improve your chances of victory. The thing is, you don’t need to win. You just need to have a go.

You may cop a sore ear, lip,  nose or eye. This pain will quickly fade. Avoiding physical conflict, on the other hand, condemns you to a life of mental anguish.

Bullies like soft targets. The moment you refuse to be one, they’ll hunt elsewhere.

If I could change one element of my life, I’d go back and punch all my bullies in the face and dare them to do their worst.



June 16, 2009 at 9:57 pm | Posted in Animals, Benefits, Body, Compulsions, Hearing, Humour, Interests, Mind, Nature, People, Recreation, School, Senses, Sight, Smell, Society, Taste, Threats, Touch, Treatment, Work | Leave a comment
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This blog is a device for collating personal experiences (mine and possibly yours) of Asperger syndrome. I plan to collect first and sort later, so brace yourself for randomness.

Though my symptoms cause me significant distress, I appreciate that yours (or those of the one/s you care for) may be much worse.

It’s therefore with humility and respect that I invite the views of those further along the spectrum. Any humour you detect in my posts is merely the other side of my particular coin.

I warmly welcome your input, which I may include in a book. While I claim the right to use anything you post, I won’t reveal your identity unless you want me to.

Should your contribution be significant, I’ll invite you to the book launch or send you a free, signed copy when it’s published.

This project was suggested by my psychologist. I wish to remain anonymous, at least until I find my feet and set down all the things that have affected me most.

While some of the impressions noted herein may be due to child abuse  or depression, we may yet discover that Asperger syndrome is the nucleus of my woes.

If you’re a publisher, I’d love to hear from you.

Thanks for visiting; come back soon!

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