Leaf

June 15, 2015 at 12:46 pm | Posted in Diagnosis, Family, Mind, Nature, Senses, Sight, Touch | 6 Comments
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Touch one, touch all.

At age three, you or your child may be told to put 50 fallen liquidambar leaves in a bucket.

Sounds fair: kids should help around the home.

50 ain’t many.

It’s a fine day.

Parents are near.

So why the crying?

The liquidambar leaf shape is relatively complex.

Worse, it can take infinite autumnal hues.

To an aspie toddler, a sole leaf may look challenging enough.

Mixed with other leaves, it becomes even more complicated – with endless permutations.

Focused on one leaf, the other 49 seem legion; the work highly daunting.

With more leaves falling on already cleared ground, the task appears impossible.

Too many simultaneous data overload the brain – triggering stress and threatening shutdown.

Mother can’t fathom the problem.

Nor can father, who becomes irate.

Yet the ‘brat’ before him isn’t ‘spoilt’, ‘stupid’, ‘disobedient’, ‘wilful’ or ‘lazy’.

Merely showing an early sign of what may take decades to identify and address.

It’s therefore advisable to try the ‘teaspoon test‘ before things turn ugly.

Doing so will likely save all parties time,

effort and

tears.

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Pic by The Marmot.


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Your smallest kindness will keep me going strong. With many thanks, Paul.


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Transference

March 5, 2014 at 8:55 am | Posted in Animals, Family, Mind | 4 Comments
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The puppy as a child.

The puppy as a child.

If childless, you should have more success than most deriving faux-parenting experiences from non-infants.

This will likely be due to your vivid imagination and strong ability to anthropomorphize.

The flip side of ‘making do’ with substitute offspring is that when your pet does die, your heart will shatter with grief.

Yet it’ll probably be worth it.


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Even a buck or three will keep me in the hunt. With many thanks, Paul.


Autobiography

December 29, 2013 at 7:20 am | Posted in 1, Interests, Treatment | 2 Comments
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An introduction to Paul Hassing's autobiography

Take the plunge!

If you’ve enjoyed this blog, you may also like my newest project.

It’s an autobiography, whose style you’ll find familiar.

I warmly welcome your visit and comments.

🙂

Brought to you by The Feisty Empire.

L

May 15, 2010 at 9:40 am | Posted in 1, Mind, People, Threats, Touch | 10 Comments
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Humiliation by technology.

Should you be press-ganged into babysitting a friend’s children, the results may be mixed.

On the plus side, you’ll thrill the kids with your highly original approach to games.

You’ll play their games their way.

Then you’ll play them in exciting new ways they never conceived.

Buoyed by their laughter, you’ll invent entirely new games, using straws, or string, or nothing but your combined imaginations.

Squeals of delight will fill the house.

Until they realise that your sole goal is their happiness, and that you’re not an authority figure.

Then they may start to manipulate you.

If you fail to respond, they may start to mock you.

If, due to your poor disciplining skills (due to no practice and fear of offending their parents) you fail to arrest this development, things may turn ugly.

If you’re very unlucky, a 12-year-old girl, done up like a Brats doll, will stand before you with a label maker.

She will turn the dial to ‘L’.

Click it.

Cut it.

Peel off the backing.

And press it onto your forehead with her right index finger.

When you ask what she has just done, she’ll say:

“That’s an ‘L’.

“For ‘Loser’.”

You’ll look at her.

And she at you.

And even though you’re 40, you’ll both know there’s not a damn thing you can or will do about it.

You will recall this humiliation for the rest of your life.

😦

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Colouring-in

May 1, 2010 at 1:24 pm | Posted in 1, Compulsions, Family, Interests, Mind, Recreation, Senses, Sight, Touch | 5 Comments
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Points of difference.

You don’t see so many kids’ colouring-in books these days.

If you’re old enough, though, you may recall the pleasure of completing them.

Not all books were the same.

The designs, for instance, varied wildly – from obsessively intricate to insultingly facile.

The best fell somewhere in between.

The papers varied too. From shiny surfaces that barely took a pencil mark to blotter-style offerings that soaked each careful texta stroke far beyond its intended position.

It was rare, therefore, to get a pleasing design on practical paper.

Christmas ‘Bumper Fun Books’, by dint of their sheer size, usually carried two or three satisfying options.

With your attention to detail so keen, you naturally coloured within the lines.

Yet sometimes, engrossed in activity, an unguarded movement saw your marker slip.

This transgression marred the entire work. So much that you had to employ your black texta (the most valuable in the set, and the one most likely to fail first through overuse).

You traced the entire colouring-in design with black, making all the lines slightly wider.

At the slip-up, the line became wider still, as you covered the alien colour with pitch.

The result was not unlike a stained-glass window.

Alas, some errors were too big to mask and had to remain patent.

When you submitted a work thus flawed to your parent, their judgment was revealing.

Instead of praising your industry, your palette or your almost-perfect execution, they did something else.

They started at ten, then subtracted one mark for each crossed line.

Never, in your entire childhood, did you score a perfect ten.

Though you tried and tried and tried.

It was only 40 years later, when writing a blog post to ameliorate the Great Sadness that had befallen you on waking, that you realised something.

Your parent had Asperger’s too.

😐

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Focus

October 26, 2009 at 3:58 pm | Posted in Compulsions, Humour, Interests, People, Senses, Sight, Threats, Treatment | 2 Comments
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Strike One.

Strike One.

Given your first camera, you may prefer to capture scenes, rather than people.

Later in life, it may disturb you to learn that Adolf Hitler did the same thing in his paintings.

Strike Two.

Strike Two.

As these photographs attest, your intense concentration on the subject may occur at the expense of all other stimuli.

This is because you’re a one-thing-at-a-time person.

Strike Three.

Strike Three.

Fortunately, digital cameras have obviated the frustration and expense of getting back disappointing photos like this.

🙂

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Detail

October 7, 2009 at 10:32 am | Posted in Animals, Compulsions, Mind, Sight, Society, Treatment | Leave a comment
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Chicken Coop by 5.5 Year Old. An Early Indicator of Asperger's?

Much has been written about the Aspie’s focus on detail, rather than the big picture.

The drawing above was done by a 5.5 year old Asperger sufferer.

Could the extreme attention to the chicken wire have been an early indicator of the syndrome?

I warmly welcome your views.

🙂

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Art

June 17, 2009 at 7:06 pm | Posted in Benefits, Interests, Mind, School, Sight | Leave a comment
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Painting in 1973

Painting in 1973

When doing art at primary school with scissors, glue and coloured fabric scraps, you’ll probably create something extraordinary.

Not only will your subject be atypical for your age (e.g. an erupting volcano) you’ll also use the materials metaphorically (e.g. bold black strips to indicate flying lava trajectory).

The result will be so unusual that your teacher may discuss it with your parents.

Don’t get your hopes up.

Though your piece will stand out clearly from the families, pets and vehicles depicted by your classmates, it’ll fail to garner a red-and-yellow SOLD sticker in the art gallery at the school fete.

Instead, it’ll be taken down, folded double and returned to you as a memento of your ‘otherness’.

Whether you can parlay this trait into a viable artistic career is entirely up to you.

A Volcano. Circa 1970.

A Volcano. Circa 1970.

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